Santa Claus – Memoirs of a Mastermind

Dear Daddy,

Where r u? I miss you…. Mommy went crazy and moved us to hell??! My little padded paws are getting burned. I need a pawdicure. Mommy got me some better food. Lots of vitamins and stuff. I think she’s hoping it will balance my mood.. From missing you.. Who is that doggie in the window? That’s me. It’s me.. I like these new kibbles so much more though.. But, Daddy she never stirs my food up and heats it up in the microwave like you.. She doesn’t play with me like you.. Kinda corny. Between you and me. She has not tried to put to many silly clothes on me here. Thank goodness! It’s too hot for all that.

Daddy, I see your pictures all over. I see all your things.. So, I know you are coming back. I smell you..? Mommy sometimes wears your cologne. She is so silly.. Daddy she even sleeps in your boxer brief’s! Daddy it’s hard being the man of the house! I just want you to hurry and get home.. Where ever you are.. Rescue me! I’m losing sleep!

ox xoo x

AKA: MAN OF THE HOUSE

Merry Christmas to me.. I refuse to let myself give up. First Christmas Eve ALL alone. Completely. I hear music and laughter from my window. The sacrifices one chooses.. I wish I could hear the pitter patter of tiny feet trying to sneak a peek.. But, that’s okay. You never know. I still have some eggs.. Maybe one day. I’m grateful for many things too. It could be so much worse.. I guess. I tell myself. I know it could. But, right now is.. pretty. quiet.

No Holiday Music, Parties or house-guests. I’m in another state. Of mind. Hustling, Grinding.. Eye on Fortune Five Hundred.. No more Holidays separate. This is pure madness. Sadness. Craziness. I’m not on a rant. I just want my life back. I miss my Mother.. I miss nieces.. My sisters.. My nephew.. My brothers. It changes your whole view on life. When you have too much time to think. So, much on your mind.. I could be out sharing cocktails.. But, my spirit would not be genuine. So, I will sit here alone. In thought. Dissecting until an answer appears. I will live my life day by day. Blocking out fear. I know I have been down. Let down by members in my crew.. I got you. No problem! We got you.. It’s okay. Really now I see I clearer. Family. No family. Yeah, I see “YOU”. Now, really who’s got who..? I cut off tainted energy. Christmas Day or Valentines your inner demons will not shake me and mine. My true family and friends know very well I am not speaking of them. Oh what would I do with out there love and support.. I am forever grateful and Love you with ALL my heart!

My husband will be back. His hand will be placed in mine. We will continue our journey.. He is the one I am supposed to be with on this ride. So, I sit here. Sitting back. Listening. Thinking.. I got his back and he has mine. Does not take away the loneliness, empty space next to me in bed or helping to ease my restless nights. I love him so. The emotions will ease and some where somehow I will find inner peace. Together again.. Sooner than later.. I can’t think straight. It’s a little after midnight.. Merry Christmas to ALL of you. I hope your day is magical and I pray somewhere I find some JOY in mine=mind too. God Bless and Good Night to You..