Tag: prayer

Just Existing..

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Wow.. Lonely. Pain. Heartache. The rain.. Never stops. Catching myself constantly watching the clock.. Tick toc. Tick toc..
An ice house. Icing myself out. How much can I stand? When will I make my stand?
Time waits for none. That’s what they say.. But, I believe it stops for some. Literally in its tracks. Long enough to catch a breath. Long enough for the rest of life to catch up. I believe in miracles. Unicorns and pots of gold.
I keep my faith. I care about life. I care less about saving face. I’m one of Gods favorite children. I am not shallow. I’m not a disgrace. My waters run deep. Ripe and pure. I’m tested daily. This I know for sure.

Decide to walk it out. My insides screaming from this hell. Nobody knows me well enough. Not really at ALL. I sit in a loud room. Despair and confusion line my loved ones faces. No room for personal space. I need not be alone. I hate the telephone. I yearn for new beginnings.. I yearn for somebody to listen. But, a soul could never understand what I’m really saying.. What lies behind my glossy eyes. Decipher my tears. Or uncode my lies. Not white. Not black. I blink a hard tear back. A lies a lie. Defined by hate. This is not who I am. A Toxic cancer. I need a fucking answer! I need.. a miracle. Mentally whipped. I feel my heart skip. Anxiety requiring a heavy dose of xanax.

Sirens equivalent to a childs desperate cry. I stop asking God why. I pray for forgiveness, courage and strength.

I never hurt nobody. Railroaded a single soul. I pray for a wormhole, fractal, door to walk through. I remove my hat respectfully. I sit in prayer.. Me and a priest. Silently. Silent. Speaking in volumes. I mean it. I need it. My priorities don’t involve fun. But, they are most sincere.

Shear fear.. Panic sets in. I’m scared of heights. This bridge quite narrow. In the distance I see captain jack sparrow.. I hold my gaze. I silently pray..
God of Gods I need you ALL.
I listen for direction. In fear of rejection or the dominoes falling down.. I move at the speed of sound. Blindfolded. On shaky ground. Held hostage. Shaking my head at this game called”life”

FAITH

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Pyramid kisses.. Late night wishes dropped deep into a well.
Missing you like crazy. Living in a living hell. What dreams become.. Praying for a miracle from the Gods above.

Please Lord won’t you save me.. Bless my families broken heart of hearts. We can get through anything. But, ALL this is tearing us apart. I sit.. Still as still can be. Praying, breathing, praying for just about anything. Surround me with your angels every single one. I need you now. My prayer is real. Sincere. Most profound.
I show the world a pearly smile. Yet live the life of a frown.. Depression. Discretion.. It’s “u” I’m missing.. Please come back to me..

Hopes ♥ Dreams – Prayer Request

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Hopes & Dreams – Prayer Request
♥ Master Plan ♥
²°¹¹

♥ Great Health physically & mentally.

♥ To be Happy & fulfilled with & by myself.

♥ To practice my mantra: Honesty, Discipline & Confidence daily.

♥ To deepen my relationship with the Lord & make him apart of my everyday life & choices.

♥ That you bless my relationship to bring us closer/deeper as best friends and my Husband.

♥ That you bless us with Healthy children & a Strong Solid Family.

♥ That you continue to bless me with people in my life that are Positive, Compassionate & Helpful.

♥ That you bless me with making Wise decisions.

♥ That you continue to bless me Daily with Strength, Love, Confidence, Direction, Passion, Spirit, Energy, Persistence, Patience, Courage, Integrity and Guidance.

♥ That you bless me with Patience, know how and discipline to clean up my credit & to live debt free.

♥ I pray to you to be able to travel and experience other countries and cultures to help expand my mind and to appreciate life as-is right now.

♥ I pray to for consciousness’ to start living in the now and to truly help me let go of the past.

♥ To be better dog Mom & Appreciate & Treasure him more.

♥ To be a victor & not a victim.

♥ I pray to you for a much bigger smaller life.

I Thank You for answering my prayers and making them come true.
In the name of Jesus.

Amen♥

To answer the #1 question I have received the most.

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Q♥ Why did I start this blog?

A♥ This is a way for me to stay true to myself while confronting my situation•life head on with the support of the world and guidance from God. I will play this hand I’ve been dealt. I will not fold my hand. I am ALL IN. My prayer is that my most personal memoirs can in somehow someway warm your heart and bring a smile to your face today.