Hearts on Fire

LADY RY

ALL IN – I DO

In my head. Need to be crawling into bed. I’m plottin’ on over drive. Slick. SHIT. I know.. where this mind-state gets.. me. Trouble or a double-UP. Fuck. Yup… I’m trusting my gut.  YNOT? RYNOT. ALL day. Wheels spinnin. My smile on. Grinning. Ear to ear. The taste of your lips sooo near. FUCK. DripStain. I love that kinda pain. Top secret. Switch. Loyalty is returned. I try to behave.. I really-really do… but, when there are so many options what’s a girl to do? Now that’s one glorious mind fuck. I never run outta luck. I got the heart of a hustler. The face of an angel. I write my own story. I blaze… in clouds of glory. I smoke solo. Han solo and Princess Leia. My love.. Yoda. May the force be with you. And also with you. I restore. Brainstorm in these Portland rain storms. Dream create galore. These basic bitches can’t compete. I smile first. No compete – Clause – Applause. I’m a billion dollar bitch. I’ll infect you with you my energy and you will never be quite the same. Life is a test. Life is a game. I never lose. Either I win or I learn. And a Queen always protects her King. Assessment report came back insane. Fuck that label rx game. I’m brilliant at this poker game. My life pressures turned my flawless. Hearts on fire. I gave up with out a tear.I knew what I was sacrificing and that sacrifice won me sixteen years. Talk about something real. That moment was raw. REAL. Off my finger. Moments flashed before my eyes. Whip-lashed my mind. On bended knee at Fernando’s Hideaway flashback on E you stunned me with your forever vows and a ring so perfect you silenced a salsa club rowdy crowd. I wore it true. True to you. And when it was time. I knew what I had to do. I slid it off… Placed it on that white mans velvet cloth. I watched as he removed stone by stone. Inspecting. Complimenting. Eyes twinkling. Off this lick. My heart hardening. Poker face. Fuck you. Pay me. Cold cash in hand. I always recount my money. I handed it to the attorney and told him bluntly to save his A$$. My clock is ticking and I need him back in time to impregnate me and feel our baby kick. I work hard for a cause. I work hard cause I’m hard.

Yet, I love you and you’ll feel it. You’ll judge me and I’ll absorb it. Morph it. Into strength you’ll walk away with. Skin therapy. I will meditate and replenish. Lightening speed. Lightening struck by me. Electrified. Touched by an angel. A stranger. You tell ALL your secrets too. Kindred hearts. Connected by a thirty minute session. I feel you. I’m listening. I’m transferring. I computing. I’m diluting the nonsense and sending you on your way with substance. You don’t even realize until it fully absorbs. But, I do… in your profound yelp reviews. My crazy serious loving impression will leave you in question? I got you. I’ll never share your secrets. You’ll come back for more cause I’m a mysterious soul. Bonnie and Clyde. Jay and Bey. Kim and Kanye.

Tony ♥ Ry. Dynasty. Monumental. Together we are our temple. Longest standing. Commanding. Duel respect.

To your life of nine to five rigid consistency. It’s okay. I’ll be that ray.. my light will never dull. I know. I’m full. On me. I earned this shit. Title: BOSS BITCH. Here hold my dignity real quick… I’ve got some sketchy shit to do. Never been a good girl. Raised in the hood girl. Chameleon upbringing. Racial division. Traumatic confusion. Hampton’s to New York City Lights. Beverley Hills to Toronto skies. Palm Beach to Oakland streets.  My situations pretty situated. My intentions remain pure. However sketchy. I walk a fine line. When you’re a prison wife together you walk that line.

 

My name

My name Δ  An echo… Through the depths of his eyes. Hope will last eternity ∞ Or is it that which is disease? JAZ a murmured SHOCK ♥ People scattering as if a flock…. Glossy tear dropped eyes reflect… Against the pain in mind. †HELL† called out to her. It is only grief… and the utmost pain I have stirred. Good morning fire sparking off into her skin… Leaving burnt marks scattered across my nose and chin. A black rose. A chilling silence. As awkward wind blows… A knock on his window.. Eyes fluttering twice.. A (single) black tear falls from the pupil of his eye ♥ My name JAZ a whispered murmur through the crowd ♥ My name JAZ a whispered murmur growing LOUD.

Author: JAZ

Broken BALANCE Beam

Balance. Breathe. I will end up stretching myself completely thin. I’m currently living in the worlds most stretchiest skin. I have yet to witness.. an analogy.. true reality. Double jointed matrix inspired back bends. Dipping and dodging stray bullets and telephone lines. Negative thoughts a deadly virus contiguously over taking the weak. My life is not bleak. No hide and seek. I am here. Hide no more. Just guarded most always unwilling to open the door. For its shut for a reason. Realizing the season of summer is now. Even with this sunshine in sky I do not have energy from much-needed vitamin D to look you in your eyes. You’ll leave me exasperated back to square one picking myself up again off the floor. Loneliness is planning its take over.

Waiting password protected at the gate…

Years of ignorance. Outsiders looking in. Excitement and bliss ruled my sound world. Internally conscious. This took me my whole life. All the pre-programmed desires of needing to be a ridiculously financially secure mother and always desireable, adored wife and truly believing that was my “completion” in life. Now what do you think? Breathe, Hic-Up, Blink. Thoughts become reality (everything around you started with a thought). With the realization I truly am from another galaxy. Perfect as is? Yes & No. Defragment needed. Uninstalling this corrupted software often referred to as spyware. The very virus that quickly activates death-ware.  Stare yourself in the mirror. Look beyond the glaring insecure stare. Don’t stop. Trust. Focus. Quickly all becomes clear. Doubled. Freedom in air. Don’t break your concentration. So much deeper to go. You’ll know when you’re in stereo.

Not your average girl. Not just a trophy for show. Stop for a minute. The power with in me is on overflow and releasing uncontrollably for the Gods have taken control of me. Externally a vision. Jaw dropper. Car stopper. Moon walker. Any hacker could not stop her. You got her (×2). Reboot your system. Rethink your vision. With your eyes you’ve witnessed gusts of winds to a steady ocean floor. Even with poked out lips and baby baring hips so phat her heart remained yours. Energy level inside her you judged to quick. System crash. Zapped. Nothing left. Zip.

Never. Just, taking my time quietly kept.

In most real form. Priceless intruety. Respectfully internally. Blessed externally. Compatibility: Twin software you manifested titled “me”…. With all this… ignorant heartbreaking thing we title “bliss”  Defragment because you want to. I crashed my system and the rebuilds taken longer than expected. Kindness forgiving disrespect. A hold card never second guesses her place or dare ponder the thought of locked souls and pad locked gates. Learn me. Become fluent. My desires have changed. I no longer need any twenty-million dollar estate. I’m perfect as is at my teeny tiny not so usually generous so forgiving succulent desirable irresistable mouth-watering ridiculously perfection of shape.

I’m waiting password protected at the gate. P.S. Hurry up. Quit being consciously late. Upgrade?!?

© memoirs of a mastermind 2010

Hold Card

Now that I have your attention. Where am I taking you?

Life in the fast lane. Oh how fast life has been. So many people. So many feelings. So little time. So much grief, frustration loss of patience. Never truly opened up. Anxiety over tapped telephone lines, constantly gauging danger signs. Unending un-understanding turns to painful cries. A day in my life most will not be able to comprehend the madness that rushes from my heart computing to my brain the numbing pain of understanding the insanity of this life game.  Lets talk, communicate, breathe speaking freely, truthfully and openly about love, (always love) food, life choices, being lost & being found, the rollercoaster ups & downs, sleeplessness, the government, GOD, DNA, hunger, astrology, books, animals, music, art, films, fonts, raves, rants, jeans, cars, the value of a laugh. You get the point. We can talk about what ever you want. You can ask me just about anything.. Really. My life experiences have taken me places you would never believe. That’s why I’m going to give you the pleasure of painting you a portrait with whispers of words and tantalizing tidbits of richly intense never sugar-coated memoirs of how you continue to grow and shine and blossom into a resilient armor that’s always been there i just never slowed down and trusted myself to see what was so vividly shielding me/my life.

Welcome to the art of love. There are rules of engagement that are serious as a human life. Listen. Ask questions. Know your position. Take direction. Stay in your lane. A lost art. With each new chapter you too can master your mind.

Step One: Mind=Kind. Kindness should be second nature. Being kind does not remove your edge. It is your edge. ♦

…love seeker, truth speaker. i am.

write or not to write? what is your question? to love or not to love. Do you know the definition? love seeker truth speaker i am me… mysteriously checking you out so high, high in the sky i fly effervescently consciously at ease please believe in the power you possess on this quest energy electricity magically ignites take flight I see with only my third eye this new world begins to take shape unconsciously conscious I awake completely aware of my blessed fate seeker of truth I chose like Jesus rose from the ground rich in beauty intense and profound truth in raw form love is. i am.