Destroy Me

Tis Over.
has always been.
each forever scars my very wrist.
scars my existence.
love-sick.
Over who that chose the opposite leaving me?
fending.
choking.
razors between us are separating.
please fill the gap,
pull in this broken wound,
hold it close ever so tightly and kill not to let forever slip away.
this is it for us who are deserted.
us who are searching,
pleading,
for the end to set us free.
will it ever set me free?
the scars don’t disappear to you my dear,
they drape of  me as though you must’ve been to fear.
a last kiss sent falling to shards like the pane in my window.
shattered to you.
a last love grained into sands oleander.
For you may only understand if you are the one i write this to,
each breath you take creates a poem,
love.
each smile spread across your face breaks me,
makes me.
You Destroy me.

hearts on fire

LADY RY
ALL IN – I DO

In my head. Need to be crawling into bed. I’m plottin’ on over drive. Slick. SHIT. I know.. where this mind-state gets.. me. Trouble or a double-UP. Fuck. Yup… I’m trusting my gut.  YNOT? RYNOT. ALL day. Wheels spinnin. My smile on. Grinning. Ear to ear. The taste of your lips sooo near. FUCK. DripStain. I love that kinda pain. Top secret. Switch. Loyalty is returned. I try to behave.. I really-really do… but, when there are so many options what’s a girl to do? Now that’s one glorious mind fuck. I never run outta luck. I got the heart of a hustler. The face of an angel. I write my own story. I blaze… in clouds of glory. I smoke solo. Han solo and Princess Leia. My love.. Yoda. May the force be with you. And also with you. I restore. Brainstorm in these Portland rain storms. Dream create galore. These basic bitches can’t compete. I smile first. No compete – Clause – Applause. I’m a billion dollar bitch. I’ll infect you with you my energy and you will never be quite the same. Life is a test. Life is a game. I never lose. Either I win or I learn. And a Queen always protects her King. Assessment report came back insane. Fuck that label rx game. I’m brilliant at this poker game. My life pressures turned my flawless. Hearts on fire. I gave up with out a tear.I knew what I was sacrificing and that sacrifice won me sixteen years. Talk about something real. That moment was raw. REAL. Off my finger. Moments flashed before my eyes. Whip-lashed my mind. On bended knee at Fernando’s Hideaway flashback on E you stunned me with your forever vows and a ring so perfect you silenced a salsa club rowdy crowd. I wore it true. True to you. And when it was time. I knew what I had to do. I slid it off… Placed it on that white mans velvet cloth. I watched as he removed stone by stone. Inspecting. Complimenting. Eyes twinkling. Off this lick. My heart hardening. Poker face. Fuck you. Pay me. Cold cash in hand. I always recount my money. I handed it to the attorney and told him bluntly to save his A$$. My clock is ticking and I need him back in time to impregnate me and feel our baby kick. I work hard for a cause. I work hard cause I’m hard.

Yet, I love you and you’ll feel it. You’ll judge me and I’ll absorb it. Morph it. Into strength you’ll walk away with. Skin therapy. I will meditate and replenish. Lightening speed. Lightening struck by me. Electrified. Touched by an angel. A stranger. You tell ALL your secrets too. Kindred hearts. Connected by a thirty minute session. I feel you. I’m listening. I’m transferring. I computing. I’m diluting the nonsense and sending you on your way with substance. You don’t even realize until it fully absorbs. But, I do… in your profound yelp reviews. My crazy serious loving impression will leave you in question? I got you. I’ll never share your secrets. You’ll come back for more cause I’m a mysterious soul. Bonnie and Clyde. Jay and Bey. Kim and Kanye.

Tony ♥ Ry. Dynasty. Monumental. Together we are our temple. Longest standing. Commanding. Duel respect.

To your life of nine to five rigid consistency. It’s okay. I’ll be that ray.. my light will never dull. I know. I’m full. On me. I earned this shit. Title: BOSS BITCH. Here hold my dignity real quick… I’ve got some sketchy shit to do. Never been a good girl. Raised in the hood girl. Chameleon upbringing. Racial division. Traumatic confusion. Hampton’s to New York City Lights. Beverley Hills to Toronto skies. Palm Beach to Oakland streets.  My situations pretty situated. My intentions remain pure. However sketchy. I walk a fine line. When you’re a prison wife together you walk that line.

 

My name

My name Δ  An echo… Through the depths of his eyes. Hope will last eternity ∞ Or is it that which is disease? JAZ a murmured SHOCK ♥ People scattering as if a flock…. Glossy tear dropped eyes reflect… Against the pain in mind. †HELL† called out to her. It is only grief… and the utmost pain I have stirred. Good morning fire sparking off into her skin… Leaving burnt marks scattered across my nose and chin. A black rose. A chilling silence. As awkward wind blows… A knock on his window.. Eyes fluttering twice.. A (single) black tear falls from the pupil of his eye ♥ My name JAZ a whispered murmur through the crowd ♥ My name JAZ a whispered murmur growing LOUD.

Author: JAZ

Broken BALANCE Beam

Balance. Breathe. I will end up stretching myself completely thin. I’m currently living in the worlds most stretchiest skin. I have yet to witness.. an analogy.. true reality. Double jointed matrix inspired back bends. Dipping and dodging stray bullets and telephone lines. Negative thoughts a deadly virus contiguously over taking the weak. My life is not bleak. No hide and seek. I am here. Hide no more. Just guarded most always unwilling to open the door. For its shut for a reason. Realizing the season of summer is now. Even with this sunshine in sky I do not have energy from much-needed vitamin D to look you in your eyes. You’ll leave me exasperated back to square one picking myself up again off the floor. Loneliness is planning its take over.