Hearts on Fire

LADY RY

ALL IN – I DO

In my head. Need to be crawling into bed. I’m plottin’ on over drive. Slick. SHIT. I know.. where this mind-state gets.. me. Trouble or a double-UP. Fuck. Yup… I’m trusting my gut.  YNOT? RYNOT. ALL day. Wheels spinnin. My smile on. Grinning. Ear to ear. The taste of your lips sooo near. FUCK. DripStain. I love that kinda pain. Top secret. Switch. Loyalty is returned. I try to behave.. I really-really do… but, when there are so many options what’s a girl to do? Now that’s one glorious mind fuck. I never run outta luck. I got the heart of a hustler. The face of an angel. I write my own story. I blaze… in clouds of glory. I smoke solo. Han solo and Princess Leia. My love.. Yoda. May the force be with you. And also with you. I restore. Brainstorm in these Portland rain storms. Dream create galore. These basic bitches can’t compete. I smile first. No compete – Clause – Applause. I’m a billion dollar bitch. I’ll infect you with you my energy and you will never be quite the same. Life is a test. Life is a game. I never lose. Either I win or I learn. And a Queen always protects her King. Assessment report came back insane. Fuck that label rx game. I’m brilliant at this poker game. My life pressures turned my flawless. Hearts on fire. I gave up with out a tear.I knew what I was sacrificing and that sacrifice won me sixteen years. Talk about something real. That moment was raw. REAL. Off my finger. Moments flashed before my eyes. Whip-lashed my mind. On bended knee at Fernando’s Hideaway flashback on E you stunned me with your forever vows and a ring so perfect you silenced a salsa club rowdy crowd. I wore it true. True to you. And when it was time. I knew what I had to do. I slid it off… Placed it on that white mans velvet cloth. I watched as he removed stone by stone. Inspecting. Complimenting. Eyes twinkling. Off this lick. My heart hardening. Poker face. Fuck you. Pay me. Cold cash in hand. I always recount my money. I handed it to the attorney and told him bluntly to save his A$$. My clock is ticking and I need him back in time to impregnate me and feel our baby kick. I work hard for a cause. I work hard cause I’m hard.

Yet, I love you and you’ll feel it. You’ll judge me and I’ll absorb it. Morph it. Into strength you’ll walk away with. Skin therapy. I will meditate and replenish. Lightening speed. Lightening struck by me. Electrified. Touched by an angel. A stranger. You tell ALL your secrets too. Kindred hearts. Connected by a thirty minute session. I feel you. I’m listening. I’m transferring. I computing. I’m diluting the nonsense and sending you on your way with substance. You don’t even realize until it fully absorbs. But, I do… in your profound yelp reviews. My crazy serious loving impression will leave you in question? I got you. I’ll never share your secrets. You’ll come back for more cause I’m a mysterious soul. Bonnie and Clyde. Jay and Bey. Kim and Kanye.

Tony ♥ Ry. Dynasty. Monumental. Together we are our temple. Longest standing. Commanding. Duel respect.

To your life of nine to five rigid consistency. It’s okay. I’ll be that ray.. my light will never dull. I know. I’m full. On me. I earned this shit. Title: BOSS BITCH. Here hold my dignity real quick… I’ve got some sketchy shit to do. Never been a good girl. Raised in the hood girl. Chameleon upbringing. Racial division. Traumatic confusion. Hampton’s to New York City Lights. Beverley Hills to Toronto skies. Palm Beach to Oakland streets.  My situations pretty situated. My intentions remain pure. However sketchy. I walk a fine line. When you’re a prison wife together you walk that line.

 

Food for thought

Mine,

I wish you.. Could hold me right now. Rock me to sleep.. Rub my head.. Whisper in my ear.. Tell me you love me.. Show me you love me..

I wish.. I could wake up tomorrow morning to your eggs.. Sliced tomatoes.. A couple of grapes.. I miss you. I wish we could lay side by side perfectly fitting.. Your face in my neck..
Ignoring ALL calls.. Breathing each other in. I yearn for your touch..

I wish I could do my eyes.. To match what I wear.. And hear.. You say you liked how I did them. And ask you to wear something to match me and you do.. I wish.. We could eat each other for lunch and have an ultra late dinner because we don’t want to let each other go.. I’m in love with you. I need “u” in my heart..

Yours.

Together we walk the line

Mastermind ∞ I am so blessed.. I know this. Mastermind. Mine. ALL mine. Whom means the world to me..  My entire universe. Including, Distant worlds.. The milky way; and undiscovered galaxies. YOU my love are  my invisible  dark  energy. The glue holding all we are together. Staying ready for 2012 and any and everything. While you walk the distance. Experiencing hatred and others with nothing to lose. You accept this fate.  I double knot your laces. I hate this cold place you’re in. Yet, You take it for what it’s worth and begin this journey in your own shoes here on planet earth. The respect I have for you!  Taking care of big boy business.  You do what you say you’re gonna do. You come in truth. A man of his word. Understanding that we are in purgatory. This is HELL. We must pass this test to turn the page and see what’s next.  Another chapter. You will not close this book. We never fold. ALL In from hand number one.  That’s what happens when your young and in love. Raised to never give up. No matter what. Stay true to who you are. Yes, sometimes that creates scars. War wounds of sorts. Never ending stories in and out of different Port(holes)/Court(doors). Distant love holds forever strong.  However long. This shall take. I will be here. Standing tall. Standing strong.

Never jeopardizing Me. Us. My safety.  Respecting are true love and all my needs. His backbone straight and strong. More than man enough to say I’m sorry baby… Poppy.. was wrong…

The love we share. Can not compare to any other feeling. When my King speaks, I proudly listen to his thoughts ideas and secret missions. Encouraging words of hard knock wisdom. I love this man. I am his #1 fan. We invested our everything into our kingdom (you&me). My Ruler and his Queen. A true definition of a start-up. We were built from the ground up. Foundation poured with the best cement. I’m talking designer Louis print.  You know it’s held up well. Designed to last. Never falter. Not a sway. No matter what distance. No need for quick wit there is no delay or change of planes. A constant yearning. Interior battlefield. I see the white flag. I surrender God. With you I KNOW we will be okay. Considering  the constant raging flames from the past few years of HELL.  Tear down. Never that. We respect our history. So, we put in the work to repair the settled cracks.  Inspection failed. Yeah we were for real.. I carry with me my heart of steel. Needle and thread on hand for quick repair. Tissue in purse to wipe tears on the loose. Always ready. Always prepared. Like the dude from running scared. His body is all I need. My safe-place. Our combined magnetic energy exuding out the seams quickly recharging while simultaneously enlightening me breathing entirely new life into me. Mastermind madly in love with you “I AM”

As much as I love words describing my feelings for you is tough to describe. You are the glimmer that resides in my eyes. The spark in the night. A Shooting star back-lit by moon lite. Exploding fireworks in the sky. My flashlight.  My nightlight. I hear your name.. My body begins to ignite! All systems Go. This vessels ready to take flight.

It’s just not one in-particular thing.. It literally is just about every little thing.  Consciously knowing all this. Already experienced the happiness. The roadblocks and bliss. I close my eyes to taste your lips. I feel your body embracing mine. I hold this feeling. Drift asleep… ZZ zzzzz ZZ Zzz Wandering in a forest.. there you are Poppy.. You found me.

Lets stay here forever.. Avatars we are. Rain, Sun or Shine. Me and You surrounded by a higher feeling. Unseen. Supreme Being.. Divinity circles you while you circle me. The light is SO bright I feel it. I feel you. ALL the way through. Mirror image. You and I. Together right now in another world. Only thing between this one and that one is light. You guided me there. Made me dig real deep. Held in my breath. The fractal appeared so deep.. Little did I realize it was you who was holding me.. and when I opened my eyes. I see you for an instant. Fuzzy. Fading.. into star-dust. I lay there in lust. Paralyzed in love. For you are I and I AM you and we together are God and God is us too.

My Benny.. Your June.  Your Bonnie… My Clyde.  My Desi… Your Lucy.  Your June… My Johnny.

Only the strong survive.

I’m here with you. Your not alone and neither am I. Together we’ll walk this line.

Love is who I am

Poetry Philosifloetry… Sweeter than a Billets Doux.. Sit back well I spit this at you.  Culture, Multi Culture, Race, Diverse, Diversity.  Tell me what’s your take on me. What you think you see???

A Superstar. Hold Card, Actress, Dream Maker, Fearless, Extreme, Ambitious, Love, Happiness, Class, Style, Eternity, Money Maker. ALWAYS! THE ART. THE DREAM. THE LOVE. “I know who I am.”

My definition on LOVE………? Love is who I am. How I express myself. Being the unique person I was created to be. Love is God. Love is passion, fearless & magical. Love is crazy yet simple. I guess I would say…  love is a contradiction. Love speaks boldly. Yet softly. Love does not give up   or  withhold itself. Love does not force itself on others to feel better about it self. Love is not being afraid to tell somebody who I am. Or,  Where I came from. Love does not expect or demand. Love does not have Limits, Restrictions or Conditions. Love is the key. It is the key that allows me to see More in to myself, For myself and About myself.  So….. To you I say. Give your smile to everyone! And your to only one.



Hopes ♥ Dreams – Prayer Request

Hopes & Dreams – Prayer Request
Master Plan
²°¹¹

Great Health physically & mentally.

To be Happy & fulfilled with & by myself.

To practice my mantra: Honesty, Discipline & Confidence daily.

To deepen my relationship with the Lord & make him apart of my everyday life & choices.

That you bless my relationship to bring us closer/deeper as best friends and my Husband.

That you bless us with Healthy children & a Strong Solid Family.

That you continue to bless me with people in my life that are Positive, Compassionate & Helpful.

That you bless me with making Wise decisions.

That you continue to bless me Daily with Strength, Love, Confidence, Direction, Passion, Spirit, Energy, Persistence, Patience, Courage, Integrity and Guidance.

That you bless me with Patience, know how and discipline to clean up my credit & to live debt free.

I pray to you to be able to travel and experience other countries and cultures to help expand my mind and to appreciate life as-is right now.

I pray to for consciousness’ to start living in the now and to truly help me let go of the past.

To be better dog Mom & Appreciate & Treasure him more.

To be a victor & not a victim.

I pray to you for a much bigger smaller life.

I Thank You for answering my prayers and making them come true.
In the name of Jesus.

Amen

Cocoa butter baby

Your so cool. Your so fly.

Green·Blue mood ring eyes.

Nobody could fill your shoes. My super sexy secret agent.

Mastermind. Mine all mine.

Can we chill? Slam a shot.

Grab the leash. Walk the beach.

No worries bout our sandy feet.

Rain boots work perfectly.

Just you & me & our four legged mixture of both our personalities.

Full moon. Sleep till noon..

Trying to control my urge to bite you.

Taste you. Cocoa butter baby.

All rubbed down. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Bed time! Only a quarter to nine.

To answer the #1 question I have received the most.

Q Why did I start this blog?

A This is a way for me to stay true to myself while confronting my situationlife head on with the support of the world and guidance from God. I will play this hand I’ve been dealt. I will not fold my hand. I am ALL IN. My prayer is that my most personal memoirs can in somehow someway warm your heart and bring a smile to your face today.