Tag: God

Thank you God and Goddesses..

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Thank you God for waking up today in peace.

Thank you God for my shower with HOT water.

Thank you God for my safety while in the shower;  The feeling of knowing I will not be raped. I am safe. I fear not being bombed. THANK YOU GOD I say to “U”..

Thank you God for the comfort of my Mother. Sharing our day together..

Thank you God for my niece’s personality sure to turn any frown upside down.

Thank you God for the blessings of my sisters and brothers.

Thank you God for my legs and allowing me fresh clean air while I walk my Dog to-day in safety and in awe of ALL your beautiful creations.

My internal thank you.. I say in whisper and feel with the passion.. of a Revolutionary Egyptian. Δ

Happy New Year!

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Happy New Year to me and happy is my #2 priority. I want to smile in 2011. I want to crack up laughing over absolutely nothing. I want to kill the world with kindness especially when my attitude is slipping toward anything but kind. I want to love until I overflow and have strength to refill others and naturally reload. I never again want to feel so dark, empty or unsure. This is 2011 I’m sure. I’m ready. let’s go. I’m blessed. I’m lucky. I’m healthier then some and like others have work to be done. I’m ready to start living. Having fun. Cautiously. Just because it’s a New Year my same rules still apply. You see these are encoded in me. No expiration. No maybe after an evaluation. No New Years play dates. I listen as I hear gates.. Open and close. I watch and wait from a quiet distance. Quite contrary in my personal cozy sanctuary. Temp exactly how I like it. 81° panties just enough. I chill out and puff. Happy to have been out of ALL the lost souls madness Back to back police sirens. Not for me. My car remained parked. New Years Eve sparkled from my crystal tears. Meditating on blessings. Thank yous.. Bless you’s.. No guess what and no guess who’s. Drama free. Half full. Control steady. 2010 tried to get the best of me. I left it in the dust. No questions asked. You can keep the reward money. I’m not your honey.. I’m taken. 2011 under siege. A healthy balanced year. Sage removing toxins from the air. Mood consistent. Steady. Energy high. Grinding. Doing mine. Love is my basis. Every choice accounted for. I watch as I try every door.. Open-ed time and time again.. I had an opportunity I was to immature to see. I was just a baby.. My mind calmly decides on the path of our life. I’m ALL in. Ride or hope not die! I choose life!!! FYI

To a magical New Year!   First resolution.. LOVE above ALL others.

Dear God..

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Thank you for Blessing me with an incredible man. A truly remarkable human being. I am so proud, humbled, grateful and fortunate to share my life with such an amazing person. ←I believe in you ↑ I do. Because, but not only because. “U” niverse) knew exactly what I needed. “U” granted my passage. ALL access. My king, Soul Mate, Daddy, Best-friend, Lover, Husband. One man to fill ALL roles. These are no easy shoes to fill.  “U” granted ALL my wishes. Truly listened. Sent me an angel.. To tame the HELL out of your winning mustang race horse. You sent him to me.. to Love him. Learn from him. Ride with him. This is the ride I’m on. 10 years strong. An eternal outer body experience next level bond. Girl I AM YOURS. Mind. ALL mine. However long. Building character, foundation strong. ALL gold. No lead. He is home and I AM E.T. Meant to be.. I just wanted to Thank You My Lord for reuniting us in our physical earth bodies. Madly, Passionately is the love I feel. Overflowing out of the openings in my body. The Trinity. The Holy Grail. I hold my ♥ very carefully as I tear through.. Tread ever so carefully. I love this man. Through you ↑ I know how much he loves me ↔ Adores me. Still gets excited to score with me←  Yeah, that’s me. Incredibly magnetic forces of energy. Choices. Made together. We made a deal. A pact. A contract. Plea deal. On my behalf.. Oh Heavenly Father Please help us through. No matter what. We have each other. No more wrong turns. Back alley tire burn.. Marks.  √ing out. Closing ALL doors to the outside world. 24hour LOCK DOWN. We share the same moon. He gently gives me a nudge. Not a judgment. But, something more thoughtfully thought of. Mass of energy. Years of  listening. Verbal kissing. My answer to any equation. I dream of the day again.. to be in his form again. I so madly miss him. Kissing him. Please promise you’ll bring him back. I believe you will. You sent him once. I believe in “U”. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and I’m suffering so.. Empty nest syndrome. My eagles on the fly.. Maybe you can’t physically see him. I have him right here ♥ His third eye always on the prey/prize. I’m ALL IN. Thank you again..

THANKFUL FOR..

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Many things to be thankful for. My table remains unset. My special china remains in a dark basement. No reason to send for.. Nobody to set the table for anymore. As you give your Thanks.. on this American holiday. Eyes closed. Hands held. Saying grace. Be thankful for ALL you have. ALL you are. Surrounded by love. Imagine sitting alone. In your home. No delectable smells of comfort. Only you. In awkward discomfort. Life is far from okay. These days have always added stress, uneasiness left feeling incomplete. I’m miserable right now. Sad.. Unsure.. about almost everything. What to cook.. What to eat.. No turkey losing their life for me.. Nope not going to happen. Warm up something in the fridge.. Make some stuffing..? Mac & Cheese.. Just me. Don’t need meat just cause it’s Thanksgiving.. I’m thankful for today. My family and.. even ALL the pain.. Creating change. I do NOT understand. But, it’s almost killed me. Doesn’t appear to be slowing down. Giving me a true near death experience. Grabbing tight to my sisters for strength. Praying they are still there when I awake. I don’t want them to watch me break. I’m supposed to be setting an example. More like an example of what and who not to be. Wish I could close my eyes and wake up the day after Thanksgiving. But, life does not work this way.. So, I ask you.. My friend Please say a prayer for me as you bow your head. Thank you. I Love you.. Please have a blessed Holiday celebration. Amen..*

Gift of family

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The gift of family. How are you chosen? Or.. were they? Curious how we ALL end up together. Blessed oh yes I AM. Sharing our hearts, enveloped and intertwined by the divine. A family bond continues to gain strength even within our darkest hours. God holds the power and guides us through-heartbreaking affairs that turn our insides black, purple & blue. Heads held high. In need of motivation. Look to the sky. Comfort in knowing.. I’ll see you again. So many questions??? So, many whys..? So, many insecurities.. So many tear-drops dropped from so many eyes.. This ALL must stop. For some time now.. I’ve been living on the edge. Staring down the drop. Daring myself one minute to jump and begging myself and God for me to.. NOT. I absolutely can not. I absolutely (free) will not. This madness. Crazed craziness must come to a halt. Right now. No doubts. I’ve passed the tests; while at my bottom. Unrecognizably shattered and done with broken promises of what should have been. My tests are done and my “true” family passed every one of them. I know who is in my corner. I know where I can pull strength from. I know from what areas to stay clear. Not in fear of being shunned. But,  where I could take this conversation. Which I already have. Hurt me. Made me teary eyed.. Still so sad. Skeletons out. My closets cleaned and uncluttered. My words were my memories. Raw emotion. Heartfelt. The damage was done. There was no liability. Now, I have full coverage with ALL the extras. My heart is mending. I will not suffer in past miseries. Everything is out. Not my intention to crush feelings.  In my astronomical black hole masked and filled. A hover craft covering my heart and soul. Heart mass producing at nano speeds 98% hold on me. I was near death. I’m no longer looking back. Don’t even want to talk about it.. That was then. This is now. The pasts the past. But, did you really believe you were going to receive an ALL access pass?  Of judgment why yes you did. You shall answer to God. As I was just a kid. Just about over “you(s)” the ones whom must continue living with what you did. No more dark alleys for me, lights are on. Heavy surveillance LED. Watching you. Watching me. Look inside you to understand what went wrong.. It’s not too late. Make a therapy date. For I forgive. Forgets a work in progress..