CAPACITY: FULL

Ring! Ring!! Hello..???

You’ve got  ½ a second to choose where you intend to take this conversation. I’ll give you your moment. However, I must warn you first. If you begin with have you heard, you’re never going to guess what/why/who!?!,  Ranting bitter negative gossipy drama. An addiction of holding on… to nothing.  Learn to value your time. Value yourself. Time is one thing that once it’s gone. It’s the past. You are left with nothing more than a memory. Learn to respect it and others will have no choice but to follow suit. The reason I try to make you aware of these things is solely so you do not fold your hand in desperation do to exasperation. when you truly deserve to be uplifted on a pedestal. Put your game face on.  My request to you:  I ask you please when you dial me, come to me with some positivity. Promise to answer most of the time. I’ll look forward to conversations with you and sharing my valuable time. Gotta go! That’s my line. Happiness awaits 98% of the time..

Heavy/Weight = Emotional Brain Space CAPACITY: FULL

Advertisements

Wedding cake escapade

3:58pm Craving wedding cake… and no not pregnant. Just… I…  “really love” wedding cake. When you don’t go out of your way to attend weddings..  Long, stunningly depressingly saddening weddings. (hey, you were the one pondering.. how I could not love weddings?!?) Okay so now you get it. With all that said, Now you can see how real wedding cake is a true treat and quite hard to come by.  So, heres a taste of my delectable day! Bon appetite` sweets!

Secret yearnings of the desire to stake out a mission of an all day  wedding cake taste test escapade!  Perfectly moist… fluffy and rich!  I’m drooling already! I can’t wait to taste! Frosted to perfection… oh how it melts so deliciously in my mouth.. such small bite sized samples. (I only think to myself) Yum, yummy sinful delights. This is not enough. These tiny little bitty bites of cakealicious delights… Ohh the bakery smells my eyes are closed. even still my hand unexposed.. heaven on earth is in my mouth.. So, delectably delicious. I wouldn’t choose to be anyplace else. Suddenly brought back….  Excuse me miss?? Oh my wedding date you say???  Posture instantly straight. Umm… can we please just taste another slice of cake? As, I also need to take my fiance` mastermind a variety of tasty cakes for today he could not make our wedding cake sampling date… he’s currently in outer space… expected back to earth.. weather permitting.. Tuesday… oh, anyway. My boys are here consulting me in making my decision in helping me sampling  your tasty treats! While masterminds out of orbit. exhibiting stars. checking out pluto the demoted planet… with a quick stop at mars… Snap. Snap. Doe eyed hardly attainable chuckles and gasps. Oh, well thank you I say for your Congratulations and kind regards for my upcoming day. Oh yes we would all love a sample!!! Floyd.. Floyd.? Floyd??? I’ll take Floyd’s. Gerard’s as excited as I am well maybe that’s an over statement. But, we are here together on this secret mission. He’s just enjoying his fantasy bond boys facade.. Floyd’s embarrassment continues to deepen. secretly he’s loving every minute of it! refueling Gerard’s twisted form of pure entertainment.. Personally, I just want more cake. Stepping out… Pause. Wait.. What have I forgotten..? Masterminds cake…! Which, I’ll soon devour wont last a bit of eight…minutes. This kind girl packages Masterminds delicate assorted slices sealed and chilled safely for at least the next few hours. In time for his return. Little does she know..Masterminds at home last I checked or hmm you never know… maybe he’s deep at sea, or… hung up at Cern getting ready for the bang overall it’s  really none of your concern. We’ll enjoy the mystique. You just work on the art of this technique.

Lesson:

Take control of the conversation.

What do you want?

Where am I taking you?

What do I want from you?

Waiting password protected at the gate…

Years of ignorance. Outsiders looking in. Excitement and bliss ruled my sound world. Internally conscious. This took me my whole life. All the pre-programmed desires of needing to be a ridiculously financially secure mother and always desireable, adored wife and truly believing that was my “completion” in life. Now what do you think? Breathe, Hic-Up, Blink. Thoughts become reality (everything around you started with a thought). With the realization I truly am from another galaxy. Perfect as is? Yes & No. Defragment needed. Uninstalling this corrupted software often referred to as spyware. The very virus that quickly activates death-ware.  Stare yourself in the mirror. Look beyond the glaring insecure stare. Don’t stop. Trust. Focus. Quickly all becomes clear. Doubled. Freedom in air. Don’t break your concentration. So much deeper to go. You’ll know when you’re in stereo.

Not your average girl. Not just a trophy for show. Stop for a minute. The power with in me is on overflow and releasing uncontrollably for the Gods have taken control of me. Externally a vision. Jaw dropper. Car stopper. Moon walker. Any hacker could not stop her. You got her (×2). Reboot your system. Rethink your vision. With your eyes you’ve witnessed gusts of winds to a steady ocean floor. Even with poked out lips and baby baring hips so phat her heart remained yours. Energy level inside her you judged to quick. System crash. Zapped. Nothing left. Zip.

Never. Just, taking my time quietly kept.

In most real form. Priceless intruety. Respectfully internally. Blessed externally. Compatibility: Twin software you manifested titled “me”…. With all this… ignorant heartbreaking thing we title “bliss”  Defragment because you want to. I crashed my system and the rebuilds taken longer than expected. Kindness forgiving disrespect. A hold card never second guesses her place or dare ponder the thought of locked souls and pad locked gates. Learn me. Become fluent. My desires have changed. I no longer need any twenty-million dollar estate. I’m perfect as is at my teeny tiny not so usually generous so forgiving succulent desirable irresistable mouth-watering ridiculously perfection of shape.

I’m waiting password protected at the gate. P.S. Hurry up. Quit being consciously late. Upgrade?!?

© memoirs of a mastermind 2010

Priceless

Dont take her kindness for weakness. That’s the worst thing you can do to someone you love. She put you above all else. Imprisoned in-house. Now that hair has began to gray. Subtle signs of unsuretys if he wished he’d chosen another way. Or will he weather this storm and protect the still unsealed cracks in the astronomical amount of foundation already laid. Ignorance is bliss. Some say. What’s this about God? Reflection in mirror this representation of my soulistic precious guarded interior. The beauty of a tear. drop… Stop! this madness. Insanity. No sadness. You desire a dime. Yet you have a quarter. A vision of beauty. A rare mix of DNA from every border. Do I follow these signs you consistently show? Or do I obsess over google earth at all the endless open space and windy roads? Poverty brought me possibilities of visions and dreams coded in only ways available for me to see. It’s completely your choice to join me. Let me show you me. Please allow me, take a breath. Want to know me? You always showin me. Are you seein me? Just doin me? Or are you just doin you? So, many years in living soul-y for you ♥  

I miss myself you sea. The yearning has turned to pain and this river of mine runs deep. I’ve always played for keeps. A hold card of suits keeps me a float. Steady on my feet. I used to ask where she went. She’s been here all along… Time bent ∞ An infinite soul. Stages, Places and Time all an internal perception individually to each mind. Just as beauty…  What is it truly? God has blessed me with more than most. I’m on overflow and he’s been with me now so long his personal perception is telling his mind that maybe… I’ve let myself go in retrospect. Just remind yourself my finger holds no shadow creating that magical programmed completion glow. Luckily my system has been updated, upgraded. Hacked into an impressive network with memory capabilities connecting with you compatibility aesthetically astounding this priceless creation is not just for show.  All systems stay ready and programmed to go. I prefer Euros £ 

© memoirs of a mastermind 2010

Broken heart

I wait in my car. Heated leather seats. Purebred 1000+ plus dog in my passenger seat. Sky roof.. nice gentle breeze. I can’t help but feeling three eyes gazing at me. I glance back making sure not to stare. This man lying in the grass. Peace & freedom line his face. Nowhere to be. Nowhere to go. Just one old plastic bag in stow. I look again this time a little harder.. I can’t help but stare as he appears unaware. All alone.. Under this tree. Feelings and emotions fluttering inside of me. Salt & Pepper stringy hair. Cowboy boots must be as old as him. As the soles are gone and what’s left of them wearing thin. I will not cry. This man gives me strength. I love this man. Yet, I know nothing of him.

An angel maybe •Absolutely a possibility. Through his eyes lye another world. Where is this man? What conversation is playing in his head? Tonight when I go to sleep in my warm bed. I will pray for this man. I ask that you join me and do the same.

It stats with you.

I get out of my car. Looking effortlessly cute today. This man sees me approaching.. clearly neither knows what to say…. only God could have put these extra flip-flops in my trunk. He does not want them. Thank you anyway. I force myself to continue to say.. I know looks can be deceiving .. But, when I say I understand I truly do. You see my heart is broken and you have inspired me just by being you. So brother of mine. Possibly from another life time. I’ll set these right here and here is  a few dollars to buy yourself a meal. God Bless is all I can say. This man is shaking before my eyes. DO NOT CRY ∞ DO NOT CRY I say to myself.

He smiles as big as he can still shaking shoes by his side, money in hand. Lord this is a good man. I do not know your future plan. Or even understand the current. But.. I just pray that he will be blessed with happiness as great as his smile was for me.

Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda…

Aka: yada yada yada
5 ½ million gallons of oil gushing into the gulf everyday. (Our gulf) if you needed a reminder… We have already seen how important this area is too many Americans with the pure devastation of Katrina. So recap. OIL SPILL 1000+ gallons every single minute. Just like every 5 seconds, someone in the world starves to death. Not every 5 minutes. Every 5 seconds. Hello world! Is anyone listening??? This is all happening right here in “our” world. Truly, “Your” world. When will you take a stand? When will you step up and make your contribution? When will you pay your debt to society? Will you? Or do plan to die in vain?

It is a question. You should be asking yourself. And Yes. You do have a debt to pay. We all do. It is time to pay for your ignorance.

It is difficult in taking this government serious. They do not even deserve a capital G. Sorry. The thing is there NOT God. They like to think they are. They love to play God. Only you. ONLY YOU. Can come to the realization that they indeed are not God. Will never be and you should have nothing to worry about. Really.

I know tough. We are all afraid of the irs, board of equalizations… However, at the end of the day they sit and shit just like you. Stop being so scary. You are afraid of the wrong entity. (NO CAPS – They do not get that respect) I will capitalize the name of a celebrity with dignity (BONO) (OPRAH) before you will see me address someone with a paper certificate with no morality, no integrity, no accountability of the suffering they inflict on other individuals and they go home and believe they are safe, untouchable, workers of God. Not my God. NOT MY GOD.

Hold Card

Now that I have your attention. Where am I taking you?

Life in the fast lane. Oh how fast life has been. So many people. So many feelings. So little time. So much grief, frustration loss of patience. Never truly opened up. Anxiety over tapped telephone lines, constantly gauging danger signs. Unending un-understanding turns to painful cries. A day in my life most will not be able to comprehend the madness that rushes from my heart computing to my brain the numbing pain of understanding the insanity of this life game.  Lets talk, communicate, breathe speaking freely, truthfully and openly about love, (always love) food, life choices, being lost & being found, the rollercoaster ups & downs, sleeplessness, the government, GOD, DNA, hunger, astrology, books, animals, music, art, films, fonts, raves, rants, jeans, cars, the value of a laugh. You get the point. We can talk about what ever you want. You can ask me just about anything.. Really. My life experiences have taken me places you would never believe. That’s why I’m going to give you the pleasure of painting you a portrait with whispers of words and tantalizing tidbits of richly intense never sugar-coated memoirs of how you continue to grow and shine and blossom into a resilient armor that’s always been there i just never slowed down and trusted myself to see what was so vividly shielding me/my life.

Welcome to the art of love. There are rules of engagement that are serious as a human life. Listen. Ask questions. Know your position. Take direction. Stay in your lane. A lost art. With each new chapter you too can master your mind.

Step One: Mind=Kind. Kindness should be second nature. Being kind does not remove your edge. It is your edge. ♦