Life less interesting..

It’s difficult staying positive. Most difficult thing I ever did. My heart is bruised once again.Trusting in others, looking outside myself for a friend. Helpful nudge.. Bitter sweet fudge. Life continues on. I frown at the future. Prolonged pain. For living a life in vain. Eternal pain.. I try to understand.. With every fiber in my being. A no win situation. A battle field of wounded souls. Stolen hearts. From broken promises. Liars, thieves. Each stealing energy from me. I need a gateway. Escape rout. Other than myself… Making the best of this..mind fuck of a bucket list.. nightmare, ongoing hell road. Uphill, tumbling down.. land on a cloud.. Slide down a rainbow.. I WILL NOT HARBOR UNHEALTHY THOUGHTS go away.. bad angel.. Energy level low. Not a standstill. Stay ready to go.

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Shhhh it’s me..

Hello world it’s me.. battered, shattered, still standing, strong as steel and.. yet  alone.

Well, here I am. It’s me. I most always have a lot to say! As of today… It’s just all about saying it the right way. If there ever is a right way..? Is there? Or do you not just say it.? People have a hard time accepting the truth. The truth will truly set you free!
There is so much more to come.. Thank you for subscribing to my blog. You probably will not be disappointed. However, there are times when you may want to be sitting. So, you do not get blown away! xoxo me

Everyone (seriously) asks me this same question…? “Who are you Hold Card?”  Well… I am on my journey figuring that out myself actually. Do you ever really know who you are? Can you find yourself? I believe so. With time. With ??? That is the part I’m still missing.

It’s me here, just me.. Maybe not the same old me.. A mix of sorts. A little girl (trapped in this woman’s body), A sexy ass woman (trapped in this scared little girls body), A crazy impatient oh so loving and loving so hard and so real that I am completely out of control most of the time.

I LOVE loving. I HATE losing. Especially someone. Every someone is the something that continues to make “me” want to continue to wake up and breathe day after day. Yes, that for me is also a challenge. As of right now..

Maybe I don’t want to make myself known.  Maybe I’m not ready.. Maybe you already know who I am. Maybe, just maybe… I am just so tired.. and want to speak freely, openly about the catastrophe of this thing we call life or some the Matrix.

The one thing I do know for sure is.. my reality is so real. That all I can do is to give it to REAL.