Day Dream

Do I care if I die..? Really..
I find myself asking myself this ALL the more often.

Most days.. I don’t think I do.
Most days.. I’m so beyond tired. I feel ready. Like hurry up won’t you already!

Heavy heart. Emotions tearing my insides apart. How much more I continue to wonder while I wander can this body take?

I watch myself deteriorate. Broken. I can never be fully repaired. These are more than war wounds. These are raw wounds of despair.

I look around for someone to grab hold to.. I quickly realize it’s only I on this ride. I circle and circle, up, down loop around. It’s quite a vicious cycle.
To the point of no return forces me to want to quickly recycle my carbon body and articles of doom. I look everyone in their eyes. I look deeply. Fascinated by ALL they hide.
I read them. I write them.
I relate. I look to life, late.
Is it fate?
Would you care? Do you? What would you do to get through?
Have you? I ask..
A lifeline perhaps?

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Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening.

Good Morning. Good Afternoon. Good night.

(Sleep tight.. Don’t let the bed bugs bite! If they do.. Grab your shoe & beat them till there black & blue!)

 

It’s all about the same. Wake up. Go to bed.

Another day down.  Ready to rest my sleepy head.

I miss him.

He’s not here today, tonight or tomorrow.

I wont be in his arms by next year. Or many after..

Still I pull his energy toward me. Wanting him closer to me.

Missing.. Wishing.. Imagining.. Yearning him

ALL of him. Inside of me.

Desiring me. Confiding in me.

Mentally mind controlling me. From a distance..

Into your little freak. I need you right now.

ALL in Me.