Pressure the weight of the world. Shoulders burning. Stand TALL. Posture direction north↑ BALANCE. Breathe…. inhale exhale ~ Mantra ~ I CAN GET THROUGH ANYTHING. Continue → on forward.  Much to gain. Consciousness and wisdom await. I AM so grateful. I feel everything. A diamond in the rough. Come a long way.


A worthy investment. Every mind under seize. ¤ A diamond so rare so blinding  you could not help but see ¤ Your search continued through prison doors to ocean floors, Argyle Mine ♦ Pink diamond in mind. You persisted through, chisel in hand simultaneously polishing you. Flawless. Uncut. Your edge so sharp taking the chance of collapse. You never gave. You manifested me. Purely created . No carbon copy. Here I am. Cotton candy hue. A star is born. Intensely glittery unlike anything ever seen.. not even from Sotheby’s, Christie’s Or Harry Winston. 2010. Over a decade in.

Now we are I.  COMPLETE  transparency. You allowed me to breathe. In knowing smothering would dim me. We bonded. Atom and Eve. We ate the fruit. But, play for keeps. Mastermind. King of my heart ♥ Queen of his. A Royal Flush when we have kids.

Here we stand. Visibility separating us. Dark matter blocked by light. That’s why at 11:33 we shut our eyes, escape this world.. and meet in another place for date night. For just like Cinderella.. our time is limited and morning comes.. we must release. Recharged we reawaken. Back here on earth. Stuck in this day again. Both anticipating 11:33.. A glimpse into him and me.  Goodnight.. I have somewhere to be! ZZ zzzZ Zz

Going through changes

Changes are happening and I am so afraid. I can pull the covers over my head. But, when I awake guilt stricken at the loss of another day. This nightmares not going to go away. I’m conscious and in denial at the same time. If I could make just one wish it would be to rewind the hands of time. Then all wrongs could be made right and this sometimes depressing memoir I wouldn’t have to write.. I’d probably be in Africa taking pictures of giraffes and stuff in safari khakis singing, dancing, acting a nut. Living the real me. Not under twenty-four hour scrutiny of the pure irony of each and every misery held in contempt. No one to talk to. Nowhere to vent. Damaging our health. Depleting ourselves. Let it out. Let it out! Sometimes it takes a shout or two. To release my inner demons. My rage is off the rictor. It’s making me sicker than I was before.

FUCK I thought I already closed that door. Two dead-bolts and three master locks. My own locks been hit. Picked. Aware and conscious. Obviously asleep at the wheel. Should have set the alarm. Oh yeah..  (virus protection canceled).