Food for thought


I wish you.. Could hold me right now. Rock me to sleep.. Rub my head.. Whisper in my ear.. Tell me you love me.. Show me you love me..

I wish.. I could wake up tomorrow morning to your eggs.. Sliced tomatoes.. A couple of grapes.. I miss you. I wish we could lay side by side perfectly fitting.. Your face in my neck..
Ignoring ALL calls.. Breathing each other in. I yearn for your touch..

I wish I could do my eyes.. To match what I wear.. And hear.. You say you liked how I did them. And ask you to wear something to match me and you do.. I wish.. We could eat each other for lunch and have an ultra late dinner because we don’t want to let each other go.. I’m in love with you. I need “u” in my heart..



Gift of family

The gift of family. How are you chosen? Or.. were they? Curious how we ALL end up together. Blessed oh yes I AM. Sharing our hearts, enveloped and intertwined by the divine. A family bond continues to gain strength even within our darkest hours. God holds the power and guides us through-heartbreaking affairs that turn our insides black, purple & blue. Heads held high. In need of motivation. Look to the sky. Comfort in knowing.. I’ll see you again. So many questions??? So, many whys..? So, many insecurities.. So many tear-drops dropped from so many eyes.. This ALL must stop. For some time now.. I’ve been living on the edge. Staring down the drop. Daring myself one minute to jump and begging myself and God for me to.. NOT. I absolutely can not. I absolutely (free) will not. This madness. Crazed craziness must come to a halt. Right now. No doubts. I’ve passed the tests; while at my bottom. Unrecognizably shattered and done with broken promises of what should have been. My tests are done and my “true” family passed every one of them. I know who is in my corner. I know where I can pull strength from. I know from what areas to stay clear. Not in fear of being shunned. But,  where I could take this conversation. Which I already have. Hurt me. Made me teary eyed.. Still so sad. Skeletons out. My closets cleaned and uncluttered. My words were my memories. Raw emotion. Heartfelt. The damage was done. There was no liability. Now, I have full coverage with ALL the extras. My heart is mending. I will not suffer in past miseries. Everything is out. Not my intention to crush feelings.  In my astronomical black hole masked and filled. A hover craft covering my heart and soul. Heart mass producing at nano speeds 98% hold on me. I was near death. I’m no longer looking back. Don’t even want to talk about it.. That was then. This is now. The pasts the past. But, did you really believe you were going to receive an ALL access pass?  Of judgment why yes you did. You shall answer to God. As I was just a kid. Just about over “you(s)” the ones whom must continue living with what you did. No more dark alleys for me, lights are on. Heavy surveillance LED. Watching you. Watching me. Look inside you to understand what went wrong.. It’s not too late. Make a therapy date. For I forgive. Forgets a work in progress..

Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening.

Good Morning. Good Afternoon. Good night.

(Sleep tight.. Don’t let the bed bugs bite! If they do.. Grab your shoe & beat them till there black & blue!)


It’s all about the same. Wake up. Go to bed.

Another day down.  Ready to rest my sleepy head.

I miss him.

He’s not here today, tonight or tomorrow.

I wont be in his arms by next year. Or many after..

Still I pull his energy toward me. Wanting him closer to me.

Missing.. Wishing.. Imagining.. Yearning him

ALL of him. Inside of me.

Desiring me. Confiding in me.

Mentally mind controlling me. From a distance..

Into your little freak. I need you right now.

ALL in Me.