Blessing in disguise

Jail-Cops-DUI-No goodbye… Understand??? How could I? Corrupt rookie cops, in search of overtime. Haters will be haters. A badge their right to passage? Seals their savage fate. Fighting for a cause founded on ignorance and hate. Okay. This is about to get good. Better than Waiting at the gate.!. Pour a drink. Smoke some smoke. Enjoy the free entertainment of our night of hell and terror in the hands of the LAPD. This is better than reality TV! Hearing it straight from my mouth. No producers editing my words out. Truly enforcing my first amendment freedom of speech. You’ll hear from both perspectives. Me as He & Me as Me. It’s been about a month or so…  This experience I like to refer to as another test.. has ever more awakened me. Crazily! By the very people tax dollars are taken from to protect me? You see… the only reason I am able to make light of this, Unbelievable LAPD wanna be gladiator intimidatory one-sided fighters.. is this misfortune was actually a miracle in our eyes a true blessing in quite the disguise! This meant to be occurrence just added years to both our lives. Thank you from the Masterminds wife.

(Me as He) In my heart I know.. another test to force her growth. I watch her heart-break as they take me away. I got a strong bitch so I know she will be okay. I’ll be back in a day which truly translates to roughly -28mths. off this current case. methodically planned out. Dotting all i’s & double-crossing my t’s. The life of a Mastermind.. My hold card held dear her words real. pure. This life has reinforced her. Thickened her skin. A muse of consciousness. Aware & alert. Decoding the signs, Understanding life’s actions accepting reactions, living in stereo with the divine. Balancing life.  A Masterminds wife. Yes, I have one bad bitch. She’s not offended by that. Keep listening to her and you will soon learn, if you don’t already. It’s nothing but respect=love.

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Prize Fighter

My best friend. My confidant.  What am I going to do with out you? I know I keep asking. Dazed and confused. When I miss you already today.. Is this punishment for labels and greed? The only way God could consciously awaken me? A dagger in my heart. A red glimpse of caution. An earthquake inside devastates the even still innocent pure inner me my motherboard= operating software supported by you.. So, you see why I continue to ask.. what will I do.. Exposing all cards. every fear, every lie, every spy on their side. Flushed with shards of heart. A shattered soul no doubt. Beats remain. Complete madness. Sick normality  confirm insanity. Everything out of my control. Unraveling at the seams. This is more than a bad dream. Hold on tight to every single thread. Spending most of our departing hours in bed. Charging and recharging. Energy renewing life into a shell of a body on the verge of being pronounced “dead”. Heavy. Yes. For “all” involved. A catastrophe what will end in a Masterpiece. Trust in me is what I hear. From every angle. All my angels. Every new step in a direction.., I call change that instantly flips the feeling of fear into defiant pains. Will (← free) be back. Just you wait. These words are just your hors d’oeuvres for what’s in store. Consider yourself cordially invited. An open door.

This is my time to tighten my boots. lace yourself up and stay ready for this hand of your life. Straight.  Memoirs of a Masterminds Hold Card.

I’m letting it out some days by whisper.. I’ll try not to shout. The goals to stay in control. Reacting only with kindness and truth. God is on our side. I feel him now. Yes! A Full House.

Stay continued.. to read and soon listen to real memoirs of a masterminds Hold Card. It has been hard. It will get harder. I refuse to throw in my hand. I will play these cards I’ve been dealt. Like Floyd says I’m a prize-fighter. I’m not fighting for no worthless belt. My words are heartfelt.

Years of secrets. Most quietly protected and kept. This information is truly privy. You have no idea the value of the gift you about to get. You might as well subscribe now. Tomorrow holds no promises.. My Memoirs are moving fierce in the direction of speed of light. I see a soon to be purely exclusive site.

You and me are written in stars. download me. upgrade to me and I shall grant you pure exclusivity.

Tick Tock

Very little time left. Hit that dreadful mark of less than six months. Pulling from every place inside me to put this incomprehensible scorching firing flame that ignites my agonizing daily pains. Time is getting shorter. So, are my patience. Find myself sitting in the house waiting… For what you might wonder.. Everyday I to ponder.. Go back to bed. Cover my head.. In less than six months from now my soul will be dead. Trying to find any reason to accept this truth. Publicly my head holds high. Inside another story.. Tormenting and infecting. An untold story some shall remain. Quarantined fully contained. When your time is running short what would you choose to do? While restricted. Feels as though everyone’s monitoring you. Waking up is difficult. Falling asleep near impossible. Realign the focus of my mind on the possible. My heart breaks for our chosen fate. A rebirth, incarnate shall soon take place… I’m so afraid. I must be brave. Embrace this time that’s left. Reminding myself this is another one of Gods tests..

Lesson: Only the strong survive.

Waiting password protected at the gate…

Years of ignorance. Outsiders looking in. Excitement and bliss ruled my sound world. Internally conscious. This took me my whole life. All the pre-programmed desires of needing to be a ridiculously financially secure mother and always desireable, adored wife and truly believing that was my “completion” in life. Now what do you think? Breathe, Hic-Up, Blink. Thoughts become reality (everything around you started with a thought). With the realization I truly am from another galaxy. Perfect as is? Yes & No. Defragment needed. Uninstalling this corrupted software often referred to as spyware. The very virus that quickly activates death-ware.  Stare yourself in the mirror. Look beyond the glaring insecure stare. Don’t stop. Trust. Focus. Quickly all becomes clear. Doubled. Freedom in air. Don’t break your concentration. So much deeper to go. You’ll know when you’re in stereo.

Not your average girl. Not just a trophy for show. Stop for a minute. The power with in me is on overflow and releasing uncontrollably for the Gods have taken control of me. Externally a vision. Jaw dropper. Car stopper. Moon walker. Any hacker could not stop her. You got her (×2). Reboot your system. Rethink your vision. With your eyes you’ve witnessed gusts of winds to a steady ocean floor. Even with poked out lips and baby baring hips so phat her heart remained yours. Energy level inside her you judged to quick. System crash. Zapped. Nothing left. Zip.

Never. Just, taking my time quietly kept.

In most real form. Priceless intruety. Respectfully internally. Blessed externally. Compatibility: Twin software you manifested titled “me”…. With all this… ignorant heartbreaking thing we title “bliss”  Defragment because you want to. I crashed my system and the rebuilds taken longer than expected. Kindness forgiving disrespect. A hold card never second guesses her place or dare ponder the thought of locked souls and pad locked gates. Learn me. Become fluent. My desires have changed. I no longer need any twenty-million dollar estate. I’m perfect as is at my teeny tiny not so usually generous so forgiving succulent desirable irresistable mouth-watering ridiculously perfection of shape.

I’m waiting password protected at the gate. P.S. Hurry up. Quit being consciously late. Upgrade?!?

© memoirs of a mastermind 2010

Priceless

Dont take her kindness for weakness. That’s the worst thing you can do to someone you love. She put you above all else. Imprisoned in-house. Now that hair has began to gray. Subtle signs of unsuretys if he wished he’d chosen another way. Or will he weather this storm and protect the still unsealed cracks in the astronomical amount of foundation already laid. Ignorance is bliss. Some say. What’s this about God? Reflection in mirror this representation of my soulistic precious guarded interior. The beauty of a tear. drop… Stop! this madness. Insanity. No sadness. You desire a dime. Yet you have a quarter. A vision of beauty. A rare mix of DNA from every border. Do I follow these signs you consistently show? Or do I obsess over google earth at all the endless open space and windy roads? Poverty brought me possibilities of visions and dreams coded in only ways available for me to see. It’s completely your choice to join me. Let me show you me. Please allow me, take a breath. Want to know me? You always showin me. Are you seein me? Just doin me? Or are you just doin you? So, many years in living soul-y for you ♥  

I miss myself you sea. The yearning has turned to pain and this river of mine runs deep. I’ve always played for keeps. A hold card of suits keeps me a float. Steady on my feet. I used to ask where she went. She’s been here all along… Time bent ∞ An infinite soul. Stages, Places and Time all an internal perception individually to each mind. Just as beauty…  What is it truly? God has blessed me with more than most. I’m on overflow and he’s been with me now so long his personal perception is telling his mind that maybe… I’ve let myself go in retrospect. Just remind yourself my finger holds no shadow creating that magical programmed completion glow. Luckily my system has been updated, upgraded. Hacked into an impressive network with memory capabilities connecting with you compatibility aesthetically astounding this priceless creation is not just for show.  All systems stay ready and programmed to go. I prefer Euros £ 

© memoirs of a mastermind 2010

Life in the fast lane cont.

Life in the fast lane

Or the slow lane. However at 160 mph.. who’s really paying attention to the lanes? Let alone blinkers. You take the space you need and you fly. Freely everything begins to take its place. You are one with your ultimate driving machine. Now, do you ever notice the silent language spoken on the highway? Wonder what language is being spoken? It always fascinates my copilot. Speaking without sound. Speaking with so much as the style of your driving. It is also an art. If you spend great amounts of time behind the wheel it is a language you may want to learn. This language you can not order from Rosetta Stone. This will take time, confidence, respect and understanding. Sit back, buckle up and take direction while at the same time remembering that sometimes rules are meant to be broken. Or rules would not exist.

It may take you a moment to notice. because it’s not really a road language. It’s a highway language first. The more aware and calm you start to become you will realize by action who speaks this language and who does not. You will notice the simplicity of a perfectly parked vehicle. The sexiness of a confident driver. The responsibility and the seriousness of knowing how to operate your machine. Truckers know this song and dance. This is what they do. Everyday. So, if you find yourself with out a cb (go figure) driving cross-country start your conversation with them first. Okay lets roll.

Step Two: Stay ready. Therefore you don’t have to get ready.  Life moves fast. Keep up. One flash of your brights should be a clear indication to get over and out-of-the-way. It’s not rude. It’s giving the other vehicle before you the courtesy that your coming up on them and it would be in their best interest to get out-of-the-way. You may have to flash them more than once (double dose). That’s a… get the fuck out-of-the-way. Usually the vehicle will move. But, we have all experienced that one vehicle who believes their duty is to police the streets. Slow you down. Quickly brake check you. That is the most ignorant thing a vehicle can do. You never ever know what another person is going through. Their passenger could be in labor, dying on their way to a hospital. Where ever. The point is. It’s not any of your business. Quit being such a nosy person. If you want to be the police. Go sign up for the academy. You should be in the defense not offense. This vehicle should be compared to a run away train. Sound heavy? Good you might be getting the point. This vehicle may be completely unstable, waiting for just the right moment to fly full speed ahead into who? You. Into oncoming traffic. Why, they are not thinking  and here you are.. being nosy, trying to be the hero. Well, in my opinion (and yes, I have more than most) your going to end up a dead hero.

Stay in your lane. Pick your battles. This vehicle may just want to fly.. not a great reason to you? People blow their engines out all the time. Why do you care so much? Why are you wasting energy on something that has nothing to do with you? Stop. Do you. It’s not that I don’t care. It boils down to at the end of your day the only person you can control is you. Stop trying to control situations and people who you have no control over. You will burn your engine out.. Care about something you can change. Yourself. Be the change you wish to see in the world. Stop passing judgment. Do you. Be you. Stay in your lane.

This is a quote I ♥ Sadness is when you care about everything. Depression is when you care about nothing.

There are so many depressed people in the world. Don’t get caught up in the wrong lane.

Buckle up or not. Stay in your lane & never forget fair exchange is no robbery.

Hold Card

Now that I have your attention. Where am I taking you?

Life in the fast lane. Oh how fast life has been. So many people. So many feelings. So little time. So much grief, frustration loss of patience. Never truly opened up. Anxiety over tapped telephone lines, constantly gauging danger signs. Unending un-understanding turns to painful cries. A day in my life most will not be able to comprehend the madness that rushes from my heart computing to my brain the numbing pain of understanding the insanity of this life game.  Lets talk, communicate, breathe speaking freely, truthfully and openly about love, (always love) food, life choices, being lost & being found, the rollercoaster ups & downs, sleeplessness, the government, GOD, DNA, hunger, astrology, books, animals, music, art, films, fonts, raves, rants, jeans, cars, the value of a laugh. You get the point. We can talk about what ever you want. You can ask me just about anything.. Really. My life experiences have taken me places you would never believe. That’s why I’m going to give you the pleasure of painting you a portrait with whispers of words and tantalizing tidbits of richly intense never sugar-coated memoirs of how you continue to grow and shine and blossom into a resilient armor that’s always been there i just never slowed down and trusted myself to see what was so vividly shielding me/my life.

Welcome to the art of love. There are rules of engagement that are serious as a human life. Listen. Ask questions. Know your position. Take direction. Stay in your lane. A lost art. With each new chapter you too can master your mind.

Step One: Mind=Kind. Kindness should be second nature. Being kind does not remove your edge. It is your edge. ♦