Shhhh it’s me..

Hello world it’s me.. battered, shattered, still standing, strong as steel and.. yet  alone.

Well, here I am. It’s me. I most always have a lot to say! As of today… It’s just all about saying it the right way. If there ever is a right way..? Is there? Or do you not just say it.? People have a hard time accepting the truth. The truth will truly set you free!
There is so much more to come.. Thank you for subscribing to my blog. You probably will not be disappointed. However, there are times when you may want to be sitting. So, you do not get blown away! xoxo me

Everyone (seriously) asks me this same question…? “Who are you Hold Card?”  Well… I am on my journey figuring that out myself actually. Do you ever really know who you are? Can you find yourself? I believe so. With time. With ??? That is the part I’m still missing.

It’s me here, just me.. Maybe not the same old me.. A mix of sorts. A little girl (trapped in this woman’s body), A sexy ass woman (trapped in this scared little girls body), A crazy impatient oh so loving and loving so hard and so real that I am completely out of control most of the time.

I LOVE loving. I HATE losing. Especially someone. Every someone is the something that continues to make “me” want to continue to wake up and breathe day after day. Yes, that for me is also a challenge. As of right now..

Maybe I don’t want to make myself known.  Maybe I’m not ready.. Maybe you already know who I am. Maybe, just maybe… I am just so tired.. and want to speak freely, openly about the catastrophe of this thing we call life or some the Matrix.

The one thing I do know for sure is.. my reality is so real. That all I can do is to give it to REAL.

Holiday HooHaw

Holidays = Instant Anxiety for me. Not quite sure why. Just the way it’s always been. What to wear, where to go, what to bring. Moving fast. Not stopping to breathe in between. Then suddenly a screeching halt. In a sense Holidays stopped for me. I live them through the lives of others eyes. I listen from my bedroom window.. Car doors, Door bells, laughter, drunken shouts. I remain chained in my safe house. I move at a slow pace. In most people’s eyes so much time wasted. They couldn’t handle a taste test of this. Lonely Holiday-Less silent magic. I wait for life to make a move. To choose my current mood. Quiet and that’s okay for most of these made up anyway Holidays.