“Be kinder then necessary. Because you never know what another person is going through.”
Month: July 2010
Cocoa butter baby
Your so cool. Your so fly.
Green·Blue mood ring eyes.
Nobody could fill your shoes. My super sexy secret agent.
Mastermind. Mine all mine.
Can we chill? Slam a shot.
Grab the leash. Walk the beach.
No worries bout our sandy feet.
Rain boots work perfectly.
Just you & me & our four legged mixture of both our personalities.
Full moon. Sleep till noon..
Trying to control my urge to bite you.
Taste you. Cocoa butter baby.
All rubbed down. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
Bed time! Only a quarter to nine.
Growing girl
Growing girl.. I have decided to write directly to you for a couple of reasons. ≠¹ I love you. ≠² You mean the world to me ≠³ It’s important to me to remind you how loved and extra♥ordinary you are. I am older and I am wiser. So.. whatever it is that’s on your mind I have most likely already been there and done that and if I haven’t.. (by slim chance). I will always listen. We are all faced with choices in our life. We don’t always choose the right ones. I am not proud of some of my choices. Always, ask yourself “Is this worth it?” Because, You Are worth it. You are a leader. Lead. Never be a follower. You don’t have to be. Your highly intelligent. Strong. Beautiful. “You know who you are.” My expectations from you are out of this world. Because to me, You are the world. I know who you truly are. Trust yourself. Believe in the power of you. Use your magical powers. Always remember where you came from. Who you came from. Don’t be afraid in life. Know you can do and be anything you choose. That’s the beauty. YOU have the power with in yourself to choose. As simple as yes or no is as right or wrong is as narrow or wide is. Be confident with in yourself to say no. You will soon learn that there is nothing (not one thing) more attractive than confidence. Follow or Lead. Always love, Choose to Lead. Your surrounded by an abundance of strength., Use it as your fuel to shine in life. I believe in you. (you know your name) have always been your own unique spirit. You truly are a jewel. You have your whole life ahead of you. Live each moment magically! You will be tested often. Trust yourself. Trust God. I believe you will make the right decisions. Utilize your resources. Accept love. Choose love. Respect love. Pay attention to strong women. Listen to them, watch them, learn from them, grow from them. Ask questions. Never be afraid to reach out or ask for help. A closed mouth does not get fed. Don’t starve yourself out. You don’t have to. Continue to remind yourself; that all anyone can ever tell you is no.
Dance to your own drum. Dream the impossible! You’re a leader. Surround yourself around good people.
Don’t talk about people. Talk about things.
p.s. Be patient. Becoming a young lady is not always easy or fun.Give yourself the time and space to continue to grow into a beautiful Extra ∞ Ordinary young lady God created you to be.
I love you ♥ I believe in you ♥ All my love
(lost in translation)
About to file a missing person report. Exhausted, drained near depletion from this search. Does one ever lose hope? How long will I continue to run on fumes? Frustration leads to anger. Rage fueled by pain. Everybody’s easy answer. Pray for her for she’s gone completely insane. Easily believed by the quick look away from sickly loss of weight. Snap. Crackle. Pressure, POP! My double jointed joints don’t stop. Circles under eyes. YaWn…! I’m so tired. I wish I could sleep forever. I’m not having any fun on this endeavor. I got the lesson. My punishment internal suffering? God must really love me to allow me to feel so much pain. This is so much to handle. Please God I can’t take no more. Yet, I still must live with what’s on my shoulders. I think that’s why she ran away. Chose a path while shoeless running in the dark on broken glass. Bleeding and screaming I see signs here and there. ² ways to go. The hard knocks all she’s ever known. Even that could never prepare her for what’s ahead of her. Pills and Drugs her form of love & hugs. Developed a method to shrug off the daily hang over. Taking the edge off turned to constant auto pilot high on cloud twelve. Functioning while burning in my living hell. I watch as my spirit melts away. Far Far away• From here• From all this misery & pain. Where do I go? Where do I belong? Where do I fit? How will I know? Wait! I couldn’t hear you! What door!? Did you say.. Please God make it stop! Make it stop. On my knees I beg. I’m sincerely confused. I already won once it was me you chose. Me a beautiful single rose. Remind me. Enlighten me. Guide me. Find me. Drag me. Carry me. Please just don’t you too God give up on me.. even if insane mad in my enlightened brain. Light a way… It starts with my name… (lost in translation) DECODE•SimplifyΞ Amplify (Me)↑internal
Come out, Come out, Where ever you are..?
Come out, Come out, Where ever you are..? I lay here and think… Where are you really? Under a rock? Behind a tree? Out of orbit? Globe trotting planet Me..? I can see your lost. Written all over your face. My own body I quickly steady to readily embrace. A stare down in the mirror. Focus. Lose focus. No single tear around here. Sobbing. Snotty. I stare down this lost scared little girl glare. Come back to me. Come back to me. I hear. Spirit broken. Then stolen long ago. Running around here empty. A ghost of a soul. Fear has run almost everyone out. Compassion holds strong. A personally composed love song. The inner workings of me strung ever so gently.. The avenue which God has blessed me with to carry me through. Oh what a quest. The smallest realizations that the physical body is simply my sacred nest. Complicated encoded in another language from a dialect like no other seen before. More advanced than hieroglyphics in stereo. I decoded in minutes time. Me I am my penance. We are in the matrix here and now. Just a matter of opening the right door. Narrow. UN·wide. Wrong way no more. Turn the knob. Just choose a door. Door number one. Door number two. Door number three. A googolplex of doors surrounds me. Fear freezes me. Tick Tock. Tick Tock. Time waits for know one. Am I then someone? I open my eyes. Squinting. Everything so bright. Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I have committed murder in the third degree. My feelings of shame and loss of ego asks that you forgive me so I can move forward purely. Third or first it’s all the same. Cows slaughtered for my selfish fillets. Fear and pain they too feel. A pricey piece of veal. KILL KILL KILL. A deadly virus thought to be a needed program. Administrating the same result. Perpetuated murder. I reek of death. By conscious consumption. I understand pain. It’s taken over me tired with no energy fruit and vegetables. Nuts and beans. Vitamins and weed. Grown from the ground. Reacting to sound. My heartstrings tugged. No murder to take place. Heard it all a thousand times before. Dropping weight. Constant headaches. Discomfort confirms change. Change confirms growth = ↑up (= that much closer to GOD) So, many questions that no longer conform to the standard application carried by most. I upgraded my software, purchased my domain name and switched my host. I don’t want to live lost in my body forever. Haunted by my own ghost. I’m afraid to die in vain. I must open myself to change. Truly figure out a way to sustain for my remainder of time allotted to this short existence of time that shall determine my “true value and worthiness” on judgment day passed onto me for my choices while here in true purgatory every test perfectly placed and designed for etra•ordinary me by Divinity.
Conclusion: Mans best friend if I had to would I eat?
A: NO. Not ever.
Memoirs of a Mastermind 