End of the week. First day of my cycle. Maybe that somewhat explains.. The breakdowns; the jolts of rage. The never-ending pain. I lay here lonely. Feeling unsure. Insecure. What am I doing here? I don’t belong.. My approval rating has severely dropped. Still the show must go on. Lie here alone in thought. With paper in pen. No telephone. Dream about being held. Tight-Caressed. Kissed. I’m a mess. I just miss the feeling of being missed. Touched. Oxytocin running high. Well, I am getting off track… It’s Sunday 10:11 or something. I’m laying here covered in bed. There’s a slight bite in the air. I’m crampy and so many other things. That yes, I guess this feels like the safest place for me. I’m very blah today. Don’t care about too much. Maybe, I don’t know how to. Maybe I don’t know where to start. What do you do with a day like today? Waste it in bed. Listening to other people live and laugh outside the window?
Story of my life. Burnt out and Tired… No desire to get things right.
Memoirs of a Mastermind 